Ragin Pagin version of Ocho Pillow Fight Championships ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBbBOgQnp9M
Turbine, you are a hero
Couillon cinema and others should form a committee with leaders from the university. Hold several meetings to discuss a solution to the lack of a spirit leader or mascot. Upon completion of said meetings, the best choices/mascots should be voted on by the student body. Is there a reason this can't happen?
I believe your thoughts are correct, but the application isn't. Don't try to insert logic in an illogical scenario. This is a decision by academics for athletics, while spectated by working-class. Academics typically have "smartest person in the room" syndrome. Athletics typically have "I'm where the money comes from" syndrome. Working-class typically have "I just get it done" syndrome.
Unfortunately, these don't mix well.
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