I was watching TV, and suddenly, to the shrieking strings of horror film music, there was thunder, lightening and breasts everywhere.

"What's hiding? What's lurking?" a sinister voice intoned ... "CHEAP CHICKEN!" A man whimpered at his sandwich, suffocating from fear of the voice's question: "How do you think they make cheap chicken?" And then, as the sun came out and the man found solace in Boar's Head Brand EverRoast™ chicken breast, I found my New Year's resolution:




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