My ladyfriend is mostly a vegetarian -- but, I one day found, with a don't-ask-don't-tell policy on meat stock. Excited by the news, I ran to the store for chicken bones, only to find a whole bird that was almost the same price. I wasn't happy to buy into the system that would render such an economic improbability true, but, in a misguided reading of vegetarianism, I bought it anyway. I mean, the cheap chicken was probably an industrially made android, and barely a real animal in the first place. (I'M JOKING, PEOPLE.)


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