Despair is Destiny
In other threads I have seen people here insist that next year must be better than this one. If it isn't, our football program isn't on the right track.
Is that a fair expectation?
We, all of us, constantly grow and learn (until we start to decline, which is another discussion). As we grow, it is never a smooth curve, it is highly erratic. In our jobs, our homes, our hobbies, we have days we hit it out of the park, and others in which we never get on base. And we have good years and bad years. We can see it in our families, our co-workers, and ourselves.
If we keep working at something, we'll improve. The more we work, the more we will improve. But it will never be a smooth transition.
Because what we can also see in our children, and in everyone, is that expecting, demanding, that each day be better than the previous, that each year be better than the previous, doesn't get it done. That approach only discourages them, it discourages all of us, from working at the job with excitement, and passion. Excitement and passion always produce a better result.
When we demand that people improve, we create a situation that is counter-productive, even toxic. If we want to keep people working their hardest, what works is patience, encouragement, and constantly convincing them (and ourselves) that they will get it, that they are getting it. That is what makes us all better.
Because they will get it. Constant learning and improvement are human nature. It always works.
Until someone interferes with their progress by insisting on unrealistic expectations, and criticizes them for not being something other than they are.*
Quick example.
Crossword clue, 5 letters, begins with 'B': 'Ideological businessman.'
Answer: Broke.
Because that's something else we all learn in our families and our jobs: What we thought would work when we started, doesn't always work all that well. A businesser who demands that the market behave as he or she wants it to, is on the path to insolvency.
And the parent/spouse who insists that the family behave the way he expects, has put everyone on a path to dysfunction and misery.
Himself included. Hint, hint.
If we're smart, if we're thinking, we will learn and grow, and we will see others learn and grow. It's universal. But it's also universally erratic.
That is, it's universal unless someone interferes, and insists that others do something unrealistic. I listen to people here who think the only way to produce progress is to scream, punish, kick people in the pants... front and back.
Or rather, they think they think. Because when we sit back and really think, we know, we all know, and we have all seen, the toxic affect of an insistent approach, in our kids, our families, our business. Slow & steady wins the race; patience & encouragement create progress.
The only time punishment is effective is when the other person isn't trying their fullest, and knows they aren't trying their fullest. I assure you, Dez, his coaches, and our kids have been trying hard for years.
We just lost two hot-shot quarterbacks, and a lot of other talent. I'm not sure it's fair to expect that next year will be better.
Dez is highly respected among HS coaches. He is recruiting talent, talent that is compatible with what he wants to accomplish here. But he is learning, too, and he needs to a) open a steady recruiting pipeline, b) establish his culture here, and c) figure out exactly what that culture looks like.
I promise you, nobody anywhere is more disappointed in yesterday's game than Dez. And not one of you here has put 1% of the time into moaning here, that Dez invests in Cajuns football.
Good judgement comes with experience.
Experience comes with bad judgement.
Demanding something or someone look like what we expect them to look like, rather than being objective about where we really are, can be ruinous. Look at Marshall.
Be like Mike, not like Mike.**
*That's what my book was about, really: Why do we have educational and social systems that destroy learning and progress? That has been our approach for 10,000 years of civilization. The last few decades have changed that approach a bit, and the result is the explosive luxury of the modern world.
*Dez vs the Tiger.
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Originally Posted by Million$Mullet
Re: Despair is Destiny
