Yes, we need to give feedback about problems...
...but how much negative feedback at one time?
I was at a United Way talk years ago, and they were describing the differences in social classes. On raising children, they noted that the poorer class tends to give their kids mostly criticism. Middle class, somewhat balanced. The upper class -- educationally and/or financially -- gave their kids a lot more encouragement than criticism.*
So: Which one builds a kid's self-esteem? Which one motivates them to keep trying, and to work harder?
And for me, here's the gut-punch: At what age does that stop being true? Good managers, and good coaches, say it's always true. Heck, I'm 66, and I still need more encouragement than criticism. If not, I'm probably getting out of Dodge.
To that, I want to relate a story I heard from the golf program years ago. We had a foreign student from one of the advanced countries, a very good golfer. After a bad day on the course, he went to the UL coach in tears. The coach was surprised, and tried to talk the young man back up. The athlete then explained that, back in his home country, when he had a bad day his coach chewed him out, even cursed him. And he was shocked, but grateful, that the UL coach was being so supportive of him.
But I think most of us would have done exactly the same thing as our coach did. First, we would do it because because it's just the right thing to do. When someone's trying their best, you support them. But second, we would do it because we know that people don't perform well under pressure, particularly not in a game like golf, which requires so much intense, but relaxed, concentration.
Again, it's true for every human being, from the waterboy to the President. So I would encourage people here to:
a) make sure we are saying a lot more good things than bad;
and for the bad:
b) stick to a few things;
c) pick things that can be fixed;
d) pick things that the coaches or administrators may not already see;
e) make sure that the criticism is constructive, that it comes with a solution.
And never, ever, criticize the players.
Just my 2¢.
*NB: they didn't discuss this, but in my limited experience, there is also a 'privileged' class. These people basically don't give their kids any negative feedback, and enforce no accountability. Think, oh, Dudley Dursely. So giving kids toys doesn't ruin them; failing to correct them does. It's the opposite of only criticizing them, although either approach still produces a ruined human being.