Tulane fans: Suck
Louisiana fans: Are great.
Total actual fans: "Total" the petrochemical company?
Announced fans: Well, if they just go by first names, I think they'll have a lot of John's and Mike's, one super fan named Dre... and a guy called Choupique. Oh, and it is Tulane... so they'll be an Isaac, Ezra, Gersham and one skinny guy named Ezekiel. He'll be sitting with a freaky girl named Sheba and two obnoxious Italian guys from Chalmette... both named Tony (they're LSU fans, but they plan on getting with Sheba after the game). She's got a lot of issues and the two Tony's have done well with upstate New York girls that go to Tulane to "work out their issues".